Joy pt. 2

     Currently, the crew is making it's way to eventually climb Mt. Kilimanjaro as we are all sitting the the Bangkok airport in Thailand. Holy cow. There are so many things about that sentence that I just can't believe. 1: I can't believe that I am going to climb Kilimanjaro. That's a huge deal. I am praying and having faith in Jesus that I will make it to the top! I can't wait for the adventures that we will have during our week of climbing. 2: I can't believe that we are going to be with the other group! It has been so different since the switch up of the two groups, but it has also been really cool to see the dynamic change, and to get to know some of the other people better. That being said, I can't wait until we are with everyone. Lastly, I can't believe that our time in the Philippines is over. The days spent there seemed to have dragged on but the weeks flew by. Just as I was grasping the reality of actually being there, we were pulling away from Water Paradise Resort in our van, headed for the airport.
     My time in the Philippines was great. Incredibly hard in the essence of culture shock, but great. I loved all of the people that I met and the children that I worked with. The ICM staff could not have been better and WPR produced plenty of funny memories of it's own...
     Being on the island of Bohol, emerged in the culture, many of the memories and discoveries I experienced in Guatemala resurfaced. The children I grew close to reminded me of the children that I had met a few years back. Arl, a son of one of the ICM trainers made me think so much of a little boy that I met back in Guat. The children in Guatemala City all reminded me of what joy was through Christ. Before that trip I was in a very dark place, unsure of what I believed, what I was doing and had completely lost all sense of joy. While being there, I saw God through those children as they loved me and showed me what true joy is when found in God.
     My time spent in the Philippines was different. Honestly, I think entering the country I had created these expectations to have a similar experience to Guatemala. What I mean is that I was trying to find joy in everything but Jesus. When I was at work I was seeking joy through the Icm staff and in the children I met and in the communities that I traveled to. When it wasn't work, it was people in other places such as my friends in the other group living in Rwanda, my family back home and old high school friends. When I finally started to be present with the group that I am in, I tried to find joy in them. Not one of these categories of people could give me the joy that I needed. I was let down by all of them. Never have I felt so lonely or so unloved. Now none of this is to say that my friends, family, co-workers or group is responsible; they are not. They are all great people and I am so thankful for each one of them. This loneliness (I believe) resulted in my attempt to experience Christ's joy in everyone but Christ himself. Putting that amount of pressure and those expectations on people is not fair for them or myself. The joy that I needed and continually need is not something that can be discovered through earthly objects or beings. The kind of joy that I need is one that I can only find through Jesus by giving up my expectations, my fears, my hopes. To discover this joy I am required to completely let go of or lose everything so that I may fully trust in God. People will argue "well if God takes everything from you, why would trust him?". By God allowing you to experience the pain of things being taken from you, or experiencing extreme loneliness, all that remains constant is God and that is all you have left to trust in. "Well you can say that so easily if you have never experienced the pain of having everything stripped from you". People all experience their own pain in different ways. Yes, I have experienced the loneliness of feeling as though I have been stripped of everything and everyone. I have experienced the pain of death of close friends, the loss of close friendships, and the pain of believing that there is no God. The fact that I have experienced these pains is the reason that I can also claim that the love and the joy of Jesus Christ exists, as these hardships eventually strengthened my faith. By feeling as if I had nothing, I was forced to turn to God; the only thing that remained constant. I was given the opportunity to experience the joy that is found through God when I met a five year old in Guatemala. I believe that the Holy Spirit was in that boy, allowing me to see joy because it was the way God wanted me to. When I arrived in the Philippines, I think I expected the exact same experience to occur. I was searching for that same joy in the children, the staff, my group and other friends and family. You would think that I would have learned my lesson the first time but I had to experience that loneliness again to realize that God is the only one who can fill me with that joy and love. It was not until after I started to read my Bible and actively seek God that I found this joy again. This being the second time around, I am still thanking God for this experience.
     There will most likely be more periods of loneliness in my life that I will go through but with each experience, I feel that I grow closer and closer to God and that I am able to rediscover that joy that I find in the Lord.

Update

We have started our last week here in the Philippines. It's crazy to think how we are about to leave our first destination...

Working with ICM (International Care Ministries) has been an incredible opportunity. ICare reaches the "ultra poor" in the philippines. These people live off of 50 cents a day and the majority of them have at least two children. ICare holds Transform classes for women, teaching them common knowledge of health and how to raise their families in healthier environments. They also have programs called Jumpstart which reach children from ages four to six in schooling and Bible lessons. While being here in the Philippines, we were given the opportunity to travel with the ICM staff to different Transform programs in several communities, as well as attend Transform graduations because the women had completed their 16 weeks of classes. The graduations were huge celebrations in each community and each woman was so thrilled to receive a certificate of completion along with a pair of TOMS shoes. 

I have loved attending these classes and their graduations. The part that I love the most is how invested the ICare staff is in each woman and their families. The staff go to different communities everyday and could still tell you the name of each individual participant. It's incredible to see the staff interact with the participants, and how much the participants love the staff. I said in my last blog that when Jesus himself came to earth, he did not fix every problem that everyone faced. Jesus did extend his love to each person he met, and gave advice and shared his wisdom. The ICare staff are not a bunch of Jesus's, but they do extend the love that they have received from God. I have loved watching each Transform class and working with the ICM staff. I am excited to take what I have learned here and put it into practice with the people in my group, and the people that I am going to meet in the destinations to follow.