Nine Months Later

     Our group arrived back in Durango Colorado at Camp Kivu yesterday morning. Celebrations and reunions made up most of the day when we saw the other group. Nine months later. We're back. Don't ask me where the time went because I have no idea. Nine months later and we are back in our seats in the auditorium where it all began. Where we all first met.

     This year has been a roller coaster of emotions to say the least. There have been so many highs traveling with my group through South East Asia, Africa and The Middle East. Just as well, there have been a great amount of lows...but what do you expect when you are traveling and living with the same people for nine months? The past four months were horribly incredible. 

     Since being back here at camp, I think most of us have come to a similar conclusion; we don't want to be here. This is not to say that we don't love camp Kivu or that we are not excited to see our families in just two days, because believe me, we do and we are. I think what I'm trying to say is that we don't want this year to end because we don't want the friendships to disappear or the memories to fade. I don't want to go back to a normal life doing the whole college thing and becoming a sorority girl. I don't want to live life with any other people than this family that I have right here. What a selfish way to think. 

     Read Luke 9: 28-36. It's the account of Jesus' transfiguration. Peter, John and James were with him on the mountain when it happened. It was such an incredible experience that Peter did not want to leave. In fact, he asked Jesus if they could build three shelters-one for Jesus and one each for Moses and Elijah who also appeared during the transfiguration. Up to that point, it was the coolest and most incredible thing Peter had experienced. And he just wanted to stay. But the Bible says "he did not know what he was saying". Had Peter stayed there, he would have missed out on the rest of his relationship with Jesus. He would have missed all the rest of Jesus teachings and miracles. And he would have missed out on the cross and the empty tomb. And there would have been no restoration on the beach. And Peter could not become "the rock upon which Jesus built his church". And Peter would have missed out on all of the ministry God allowed him to do after Jesus ascended to heaven. Today I am in a position very similar to Peter right now. At the end of a mountain top experience. And as near as that experience is, as much as God has revealed to me this year, at 20 years old, he has a lifetime planned for me. And like Peter, I can only experience the fullness of God by moving forward with him. I should not think of this summer as the next chapter in my life of just waiting around for something big to happen, for God to use me. I should not see the next four years of college as the waiting period either. This summer and the next four years ARE the next moments that God needs to use me. 
These moments are incredibly bitter sweet as we say our goodbyes to our friends and the family that we have built here. I have realized though that God is ready to use what we have learned as we move back home and eventually to college; our next, separate, adventures. 

Revelations in Rwanda

Transformation [trans-fer-mey-shuh n]: a change in form, appearance, nature AND character

     When we are saved, we are transformed by Christ. To use the word "transform" in this progress is to state that this is not something that you place half of your efforts in. A transformation requires a FULL and COMPLETE change. The definition of the word states that the entire object or being changes. Not just a part of me can change while the other half continues to live selfishly in sin. A part of me can not choose to accept the grace God gives us while the other half does otherwise. Either you are ALL IN or not in at all.

Africa

     Over the past few weeks we have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, relaxed on the beaches of Zanzibar and most recently, I moved to Kigali Rwanda for the next month.
The hike up Kilimanjaro was not an easy one. I only made it to 15000 ft. when I got altitude sickness and had to go down the mountain. I am an extremely competitive person...so when they told me that I had to go down, it was not easy to hear. I was so frustrated with myself and felt extremely week. After going down the mountain and having a few days to myself and one other member of my group, I learned more about prayer and depending on God and not people than I think I would have up on the mountain. While the rest of the group continued to climb, I continued to pray for each of them individually and collectively as a group. No one else came down after I did, so praise God for that. I realized that when I was on the mountain, I was very dependent on everyone BUT God to get me up. As frustrated as I was/still am for not being able to make it to the top, I am incredibly grateful for the lessons that I learned when I came down.
     After the climb, the whole group headed for our spring break trip in Zanzibar. We were able to relax and treat ourselves for five days, as well as catch up on sleep. The two weeks spent with both groups was a blast and I can't wait to hear about the other group's adventures in the Middle East and their time in the Philippines when we see them again in two months.
     My group and I arrived in Rwanda on Thursday and moved in with our home stay families on Friday. I am living with Aimee and Sano, a newly married couple that is already expecting their first baby sometime this month! Aimee has a sister who is my age that also lives in the home. I adore their family. Aimee and Sano are the same age as my sister and her husband and they remind me so much of each other by the way they make me feel so loved and so welcomed. They love to teach me all sorts of words in their language and they LOVE to laugh at me when I attempt to say the words. Their home is very simple with four bedrooms. Their toilet (a hole in the ground), shower room (a bucket filled with water) and kitchen are all outside of the house. The next few weeks are definitely going to be an adventure, but I know they will be good.                            
     Tomorrow I start my internship at Abadacogora, an organization that takes street kids and gives them a place to stay for three months. While they are living there, the children take classes learning basic English, math and writing. As of now I believe I will be assisting in the classes teaching the kids and helping out around the office. I am looking forward to spending the next month here in Rwanda, living with my family and working for Abadacogora!

Joy pt. 2

     Currently, the crew is making it's way to eventually climb Mt. Kilimanjaro as we are all sitting the the Bangkok airport in Thailand. Holy cow. There are so many things about that sentence that I just can't believe. 1: I can't believe that I am going to climb Kilimanjaro. That's a huge deal. I am praying and having faith in Jesus that I will make it to the top! I can't wait for the adventures that we will have during our week of climbing. 2: I can't believe that we are going to be with the other group! It has been so different since the switch up of the two groups, but it has also been really cool to see the dynamic change, and to get to know some of the other people better. That being said, I can't wait until we are with everyone. Lastly, I can't believe that our time in the Philippines is over. The days spent there seemed to have dragged on but the weeks flew by. Just as I was grasping the reality of actually being there, we were pulling away from Water Paradise Resort in our van, headed for the airport.
     My time in the Philippines was great. Incredibly hard in the essence of culture shock, but great. I loved all of the people that I met and the children that I worked with. The ICM staff could not have been better and WPR produced plenty of funny memories of it's own...
     Being on the island of Bohol, emerged in the culture, many of the memories and discoveries I experienced in Guatemala resurfaced. The children I grew close to reminded me of the children that I had met a few years back. Arl, a son of one of the ICM trainers made me think so much of a little boy that I met back in Guat. The children in Guatemala City all reminded me of what joy was through Christ. Before that trip I was in a very dark place, unsure of what I believed, what I was doing and had completely lost all sense of joy. While being there, I saw God through those children as they loved me and showed me what true joy is when found in God.
     My time spent in the Philippines was different. Honestly, I think entering the country I had created these expectations to have a similar experience to Guatemala. What I mean is that I was trying to find joy in everything but Jesus. When I was at work I was seeking joy through the Icm staff and in the children I met and in the communities that I traveled to. When it wasn't work, it was people in other places such as my friends in the other group living in Rwanda, my family back home and old high school friends. When I finally started to be present with the group that I am in, I tried to find joy in them. Not one of these categories of people could give me the joy that I needed. I was let down by all of them. Never have I felt so lonely or so unloved. Now none of this is to say that my friends, family, co-workers or group is responsible; they are not. They are all great people and I am so thankful for each one of them. This loneliness (I believe) resulted in my attempt to experience Christ's joy in everyone but Christ himself. Putting that amount of pressure and those expectations on people is not fair for them or myself. The joy that I needed and continually need is not something that can be discovered through earthly objects or beings. The kind of joy that I need is one that I can only find through Jesus by giving up my expectations, my fears, my hopes. To discover this joy I am required to completely let go of or lose everything so that I may fully trust in God. People will argue "well if God takes everything from you, why would trust him?". By God allowing you to experience the pain of things being taken from you, or experiencing extreme loneliness, all that remains constant is God and that is all you have left to trust in. "Well you can say that so easily if you have never experienced the pain of having everything stripped from you". People all experience their own pain in different ways. Yes, I have experienced the loneliness of feeling as though I have been stripped of everything and everyone. I have experienced the pain of death of close friends, the loss of close friendships, and the pain of believing that there is no God. The fact that I have experienced these pains is the reason that I can also claim that the love and the joy of Jesus Christ exists, as these hardships eventually strengthened my faith. By feeling as if I had nothing, I was forced to turn to God; the only thing that remained constant. I was given the opportunity to experience the joy that is found through God when I met a five year old in Guatemala. I believe that the Holy Spirit was in that boy, allowing me to see joy because it was the way God wanted me to. When I arrived in the Philippines, I think I expected the exact same experience to occur. I was searching for that same joy in the children, the staff, my group and other friends and family. You would think that I would have learned my lesson the first time but I had to experience that loneliness again to realize that God is the only one who can fill me with that joy and love. It was not until after I started to read my Bible and actively seek God that I found this joy again. This being the second time around, I am still thanking God for this experience.
     There will most likely be more periods of loneliness in my life that I will go through but with each experience, I feel that I grow closer and closer to God and that I am able to rediscover that joy that I find in the Lord.

Update

We have started our last week here in the Philippines. It's crazy to think how we are about to leave our first destination...

Working with ICM (International Care Ministries) has been an incredible opportunity. ICare reaches the "ultra poor" in the philippines. These people live off of 50 cents a day and the majority of them have at least two children. ICare holds Transform classes for women, teaching them common knowledge of health and how to raise their families in healthier environments. They also have programs called Jumpstart which reach children from ages four to six in schooling and Bible lessons. While being here in the Philippines, we were given the opportunity to travel with the ICM staff to different Transform programs in several communities, as well as attend Transform graduations because the women had completed their 16 weeks of classes. The graduations were huge celebrations in each community and each woman was so thrilled to receive a certificate of completion along with a pair of TOMS shoes. 

I have loved attending these classes and their graduations. The part that I love the most is how invested the ICare staff is in each woman and their families. The staff go to different communities everyday and could still tell you the name of each individual participant. It's incredible to see the staff interact with the participants, and how much the participants love the staff. I said in my last blog that when Jesus himself came to earth, he did not fix every problem that everyone faced. Jesus did extend his love to each person he met, and gave advice and shared his wisdom. The ICare staff are not a bunch of Jesus's, but they do extend the love that they have received from God. I have loved watching each Transform class and working with the ICM staff. I am excited to take what I have learned here and put it into practice with the people in my group, and the people that I am going to meet in the destinations to follow. 

The Sea Turtle Analogy

     The second week in the Philippines was not an easy one. Second semester has already been a lot harder than expected.
     I never really thought I would have too much of a culture shock while traveling. Honestly I think that the world "shock" is not the right one to use. When we hear shock we think of an immediate reaction. the culture shock that I have been experiencing has been a slow, on going ordeal. While I am currently trying to process the things that I am seeing today, and am also trying to process the experiences that I had during the first week. This past week I was given the opportunity to go with one of my co-students, Kaitlyn, to one of the smallest islands in the Philippines. This island is maybe a football field long with over 400 children living on it. That's just children. For about three hours we played basketball with the kids and taught them other games like duck duck chicken(pato pato manook) and down by the banks. The children loved learning these new games and found so much joy and laughter in watching their friends and family members join in. As the time drew closer for us to leave the island, my heart was torn up by how quickly the day had gone by. I didn't see the purpose in spending so little time with these kids, giving them nothing, then just turning right back around and leaving. As our boat pulled away, we were forced to watch the children wave goodbye as they began to cry and shout "come back, come back!". Again, why we were there for so little, giving them nothing, I do not know.
    We then had the next day off to have time to ourselves and to catch up with friends back home. All that was on my mind were these children and the little time I had with them. While complaining to a friend over Face Time about all of this, she quickly stopped me to tell me the turtle analogy.
     "Imagine you are on a beach with thousands of washed up sea turtles", she began. "You are sad because you can't help all of them. You want to, but you just can't. You then see a man throwing the sea turtles back in the ocean one by one. You say to the man 'what are you doing?! You can't help all of these sea turtles! You are just wasting your time.' But the man says to you 'at least I can help them one by one, even if it is just a few.' "
     After I stopped laughing at Georgia's analogy, I paused to actually think about what she really meant. I realized she was right. Just because I couldn't help every child on that island, doesn't mean I didn't help a few of them. By giving something as simple as a high five or a hug might make a child's day just a little better. When Jesus walked the earth, he couldn't/didn't change the poor's circumstances; he just loved them and showed them his joy and peace.
     I am very thankful for the time that I had on that island. I am very thankful for all of the hugs and high fives that were given and for all of the laughs that were shared. I am very thankful for the sea turtle analogy.

Philippines Update

     My group and I have been in the Philippines on the island of Bohol for about five days now. It's really hot and crowded but the people are great. So far, all the filipinos love americans and they think white people are really funny, so that makes me feel confident. We worked for two full days this past week, sorting seeds and delivering christmas presents to kids in different communities for International Care Ministries. Next week we will start our first full week of work and I will start my job doing photo journalism for ICM. I will be going into different communities with a translator, hearing success stories that pastors have had working with ICM, then sending their stories and photos to their donors to show how much their donations and prayers have helped them. I'm excited about that because I like people andI like that everyone has a story. Please pray for ICM, the people we are going to work with this next month and the relationships that are going to be made.